The first dating phone app of its kind, Tinder arrived on the scene in 2012, first in US colleges before spreading outwards, nationally and internationally, from Rome and London to Rio de Janeiro. The first modern dating website. 1995 Yid.com launched as the first Jewish dating service and the first dating site in South Africa Web 1995 Match.com launches. Started by Gary Kremen. 1997 JDate launches dating service targeted at Jewish singles 1997 Shaadi.com launches. It is an online wedding service founded by Anupam Mittal in 1997.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a dating app/site veteran or this is your first venture into the world of online dating, butterflies have appeared. And that’s totally normal. We all get nervous before dates, and the digital aspect of how you met this guy/girl can add an extra layer of nerves. Designed to solve female-specific dating app frustrations like 'dead-end matches'—connections that rarely lead to conversations, let alone dates—Bumble requires women to make the first move. Now a dating expert has answered the question. She’s revealed the exact amount time you should chat on a dating app before someone suggests a meetup, and warns that if it hasn’t happened by this strict deadline, you’re wasting your time.

Skylar, this is a great question! Minimal profiles are the worst. They’re also a bit of a gamble. Here’s why:

If a girl doesn’t bother to fill out her online dating profile, it could mean one of two things:

1) She doesn’t care about online dating, so she isn’t making an effort to succeed at it with a profile.

2) She’s so hot that she doesn’t need to write a profile. She gets messages from guys constantly, just because she’s attractive. She doesn’t need to do anything and she’s still got the pick of the litter.

Of course, it’s also possible that:

3) She’s new to OkCupid and hasn’t filled out her profile yet.

But odds are in favor of (1) or (2). That’s why smart guys don’t spend the majority of their time messaging girls whose inboxes are flooded or who don’t care about online dating.

Your efforts are better spent making genuine connections by messaging girls whose profiles prove you’d be a good fit for each other.

That being said, a cold call every once in while won’t do any harm…

1) Ignore the Superficial

Online dating sites (and apps like Tinder) are about quick first impressions and starting conversations.

In a cold call situation, most guys fail on both accounts. They lack the creativity to come up with anything interesting to say, and go with general openers or comment on a girl’s looks only: “How’s your night going?” or 'Gorgeous photos..I'd like to know more about u…..'

You’ll make a better first impression – and increase your odds of a reply – if you ignore her appearance and “how are you?” platitudes. Make a real attempt to get a real conversation started right off the bat.

How?

2) Scour Her Profile for Conversation Topics

Take a quick inventory of what you DO have to work with. Most guys will ignore the tiny bits of information that a bare bones profile provides – but any kernel of information can be gold!

Even a mostly empty profile on OkCupid could tell you a girl’s city, at minimum. If you’re lucky, maybe she also filled out the Basic Info section with her diet, job, or if she has pets.

NOTE: try to avoid using Basic Info like religion, income, and drinking/drug habits. Those can be controversial or super personal, and might make her hesitate to reply.

Specific info in her pictures can also be fair game – as long as your message focuses on a unique detail that not everyone could note as special.

For example, maybe she's wearing an old Weezer t-shirt. Maybe she's at Platform 9 3/4. Those are great to comment on; not everyone is into those things. Meanwhile, tons of guys could write, 'Hey, I love the beach, too.'

Your first message's goal is to start a conversation on a subject that sets you apart from other guys.

How?

3) Ask Her A Question

Use that little gold nugget you found and ask her a question about it that inquires about her thoughts, opinions, or feelings.

Since the only goal is to come up with a question that asks for her opinion, let this take the pressure off crafting the “perfect” first message.

There are lots of things to ask when you know a simple fact about a person and don’t care about saying something “perfect.” Just brainstorm for 30 seconds and go with it!

For example, let’s say she’s filled out her Basic Info on OkCupid, and her diet is “Strictly Vegetarian.”

Your first message could ask any of the following:

• “Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. I’ve been mostly pescatarian for the past 5 years. What’s your favorite meal to cook for yourself?”

• “Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. I’m always curious to hear the reason people choose that – ethics, health, etc. What was it for you?”

• “Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Have you ever been to X Restaurant? Their veggie burgers are actually incredible!”

• “Hey, I’m a vegetarian, too! 5 years. How long for you?”
  

• “Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Ever considered going full vegan? I thought about it, but I’d miss cheese too much :) What would you miss?”

• “Hey, saw you’re a vegetarian. Me too, 5 years. I do miss bacon sometimes…but I’ve held strong! What do you miss the most?”

None of these messages will win any literary awards, but they ask a question about something you know she’s got an opinion on.

Then, don’t stress out beyond that. Knowing she might be a girl from category (1) or (2), just give it a quick shot and move on.

Conclusion

It’s frustrating to try to message girls whose online dating profiles provide nothing to go on. While it’s a better use of your time to focus on girls whose profiles prove you’ve got lots in common, a cold call every now and then can be worth it.

Increase your chances of getting a reply with a first message that stays away from superficial topics. Instead, pick out any bit of info that her profile does share and quickly write a question about it that asks for her thoughts or opinions.

With your interest in her thoughts (not her looks) and your ability to start a conversation out of nothing – you just might succeed where other men have failed!

You've probably been there — staring at your blank laptop or phone screen, wondering what to write to someone online or on a dating app. Do you initiate conversation? Wait for them to do so? And if you do it, what do you say a first message? You don't just want to do what so many people out there seem to do and write, “Hey” or “What's up?” or some other generic line that probably gets copied and pasted to dozens of people at once. Hinge, the dating app that connects you to matches via Facebook (your friends and friends of friends), wondered the same thing.

“Everyday, the Hinge team is asked if we know the secret to starting a great conversation that will actually lead somewhere. Frankly, we didn’t! Since it’s our mission to help users move beyond the swipe, to connect over something interesting and to ultimately meet up — we decided to find out,” Karen Fein, Hinge’s VP of Marketing, said in the press release announcing the results.

So... what's the best opening line? Hinge came out with results from having asked users, 8 million impressions' worth through in-app testing over one month, which opening lines they'd use. Their copywriters and data analysts wrote up over 100 original openers (which varied in subject matter, structure, and length). Then, 22 percent of Hinge users received various conversation-starters to choose from and the study was underway.

What Hinge found out about the best opening messages can benefit daters everywhere, so keep it in mind next time you're on a swiping spree and later need to (actually) start messaging people.

Check out Bustle's 'Save The Date' and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

1. 'Hey' Won't Cut It, But Two Truths And A Lie Will

2. Women Respond To Messages About Food And Men REALLY Like Assertive Messages

3. Age Makes A Difference (25? Send A Message About An Activity)

• Novel or surprising conversation-starters saw 62 percent higher response rates when sent to 18-23 year-olds.

• Lifestyle or activities-related conversation-starters saw 30 percent higher response rates when sent to 24-28 year-olds.

• More personal conversation-starters saw 34 percent higher response rates when sent to 29-34 year-olds.

• Pop culture-related conversation-starters saw 32 percent higher response rates when sent to 35+ year-olds.

4. The City You're Dating In Matters, Too (Live In DC? Talk About Cheese!)

Hinge found these conversation-starter trends in some top cities:

San Francisco: “Peter Pan Syndrome”

Conversation-starter: Youth or childhood nostalgia = 68 percent higher response rates in San Fran than in other cities.

Los Angeles: “Entertainment”

Conversation-starter: Referencing celebrities = 75 percent higher response rates in L.A. than in other cities.

Boston: “No Nonsense”

Conversation-starter: Straightforward or cynical = 59 percent higher response rates in Boston than in other cities.

New York City: “Escape Reality”

Conversation-starter: Fantasy-driven or musing = 45 percent higher response rates in NYC than in other cities.

Washington DC: “Cheese”

Conversation-starter: Food-related (or specifically mentioned cheese) = 58 percent higher response rates in DC than in other cities.

Chicago: “90s Kids”

Conversation-starter: Referenced ‘90s culture = 45 percent higher response rates in Chicago than other cities.

5. Here's WHEN To Message Your Match

Dating App Girls Message First

Interesting, huh?

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Dating App Girl Has To Talk First Grade

Images: Dasha Petrenko/Fotolia; Hinge